The Edge

Thoughts from the edge of your reality. We always bring food for your table of knowledge.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Blue Cock Blocks

Arrest drinkers for being drunk This completely dismayed me when I read it. The Bible Belt strikes again. SAN ANTONIO, Texas (Reuters) - Texas has begun sending undercover agents into bars to arrest drinkers for being drunk, a spokeswoman for the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission said on Wednesday. The first sting operation was conducted recently in a Dallas suburb where agents infiltrated 36 bars and arrested 30 people for public intoxication, said the commission's Carolyn Beck. Being in a bar does not exempt one from the state laws against public drunkeness, Beck said. The goal, she said, was to detain drunks before they leave a bar and go do something dangerous like drive a car. "We feel that the only way we're going to get at the drunk driving problem and the problem of people hurting each other while drunk is by crackdowns like this," she said. "There are a lot of dangerous and stupid things people do when they're intoxicated, other than get behind the wheel of a car," Beck said. "People walk out into traffic and get run over, people jump off of balconies trying to reach a swimming pool and miss." She said the sting operations would continue throughout the state. Leave it to Texas to come up with something completely and utterly illogical. Cops hiding out in bars to find out if you are drunk. What so, traffic ticket revenue is down or something? Did someone watch Minority Report and think it was a good idea? Someone should have mentioned to San Antonio's Police Commisioner. You send cops into bars and start arresting people, you drive away business. No one will go to a bar if the person sitting next to them might be a cop. And the people that do show are going to very reserved in thier drinking. That brings the economy down. People go out less in an area and that area becomes financially depressed. Business' close. People that are out of work turn to crime. And people that cant go drink will get thier buzz other ways. Drug use rises. Texas becomes a bigger hell than it already is. Not to mention, a man spends money buying drinks for a woman. He's working her. Plying her with drinks. Talking her up, and buying more drinks. Just when he has her drunk enough to go home with him, Barney Fuckin Fife runs over and becomes "The Blue Cock Block"? Talk about coitus interruptus. Miss Commish says its about people doing stupid things when they drink. thats the fun of drinking. Getting sloshed, talking shit and the next morning saying,"That was fun. Stupid, but fun." As bars are supposed to be fun. A gathering of different people, with the possibility of meeting someone new. Now there are undercover cops in the mix. Its bad enough that when you meet someone nowadays you have to get a note from thier doctor, now you will have to pat them down to see if they are wearing a wire?

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Up From The Depths

I have had a lot to think about. Alot going on. My social scene which previously was non existent blossomed for a time. I had places to go and people to see. Some of the nights were great fun.Some were not. And I felt loved and wanted. It was more fun than I imagined. I took a new job and dived into it head first. It was/is a whole new range of things that I normally don't have to do. So it takes a bit more attention from me. Its a job I could fail at. Which is something I found I had been avoiding. My car died the day I got notice about the new job. Repairs are out of the question. Just getting the suspension fixed is $800. And that still wont get it rolling. So I am not going to fix it. This leaves me with a lack of freedom. I will not ride the bus IF, I can avoid it. I started to wonder during my meditations, where all my unrest was coming from. I assumed it was me. Some of it is. Sitting here at my desk I realised something. Its calm today. Unbelievably quiet. Not because there is nothing to do, but because "The Others" are not here . They bring chaos and disorder with them. They are confused, reactionary, and stressed. And I let them bequeath the same to me. Their fear and panic overwhelmed me. I let it. I was nervous about taking a new job. And with that in the works, I walked into a stress ball, with my defenses down. And got my emotional head stoved in. So I learned something. Know when to raise shields, and brace for impact. For the first time in months I also had felt the need to change things around. A thirst to make my home my temple again. It was not a thought out plan or a whimsical "what if". It was a real need to move things around. I didn't think about it or consider the repercussions of it. I simply did it. I was beginning my prep for meditations and something looked wrong. Like something was out-of-place. Then I knew. Within a half hour I had rebuilt my living room and made some decisions for later. And I think I know why. I think She let go. She is giving over to the idea of leaving. I send her with Arms wide open. I know it will be better for her in the end. Many things must go when She does. Many things. Yet, there is a tenseness in the back of my mind. I would rather be elsewhere. Someplace with a smiling face and warm hands. I try not to dwell on it. That would do no good. I take a deep breath, to still myself. Calm and relaxed is the goal. Follow the Circle around. Don't try to outrun it. Just relax. To a degree it works. I am calm and I am mellow. But I would still prefer to be somewhere else.

Sunday, March 05, 2006


I am embarrased to say.. I over-reacted. My friends are still around. They just went incognito. The DemonMaster has had troubles and could not be incontact with anyone. Gi, checked himself into a hospital with a viral infection. this is his third week there. Sorceress... Well, she is flighty so thats to be expected. And I will not submit, so has little to say. And Flavor just got back into the swing of things. The rest of you know why we have not spoken. Plus, the important thing that Demon mentioned. What I am going thru is for me alone. They cannot interfere. As much as they might want to hold on and walk the path with me, they cannot. I have to do this myself. BUT...They will be there. Much the way elven faeries hide in bushes and watch playing children. I started to wonder during my meditations, where all my unrest was comming from. I assumed it was me. Some of it is. Sitting here at my desk I realised something. Its calm today. Unbelievably quiet. Not because there is nothing to do, but because "The Others" are not here . They bring chaos and disorder with them. They are confused, reactionary, and stressed. And I let them bequeeth the same to me. Their fear and panic overwhelmed me. I let it. I was nervous about taking a new job. And with that in the works, I walked into a stressball, with my defenses down. And got my emotional head stoved in. So I learned something. Know when to raise shields, and brace for impact. The people I count on and love are still here. They all know that I would give blood and bone for them. And I know who my friends are.

Friday, February 10, 2006

Functioning and Undamaged

ok. shit happens right? we dont get angry or hurt because thats just how it is. No point having an emtional reaction to a static event. Thats is like throwing rocks at the Berlin wall. Just breath and relax. We have been doing this since I dont know when. Its not the first time. But it will damn sure be the last. Nope. Thats anger. Got to let that pass. Its no different than stepping on a nail. An inconvienance. We continue onward towards the inevitable. Just remember the Hermit card son. just remeber the card. There is no emotion when a shark eats. It is simply following nature. Thus there is no emotion in this. It simply is. We are ... that is simply enough /endofline

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Deep Reflections

Well, the birthday is done. It turned out better than I thought. There was a gift for me waiting at home. A movie. And if you didnt know by now. I am all about the dvd collection. I spent time talking to several friends and I THINK we are the better for it. The people that are not local know I would have prefered to spend the day with them. They sent me warm wishes and I appreciated that. Mother and sister called and left me phone messages. Mom even sang for me. I did not do much for the night, except drive home slowly after dropping off a friend. So there was not much of an event to the evening. But the thoughts and wishes were nice. Driving home I had time to think alot. I finally understand something. I, like far too many people base alot of who I am on how someone responds to me. If I 'liked/cared about' someone and they didnt show the same thing, Well, I must be an aweful person because they did not reciprocate. NOT. I am starting to realise that this is not true. My feelings of personal self worth have nothing to do with what someone sees me as or what they may or may not say to me. Just because someone dont feel the same way, or show the same regard for me does not indicate a problem with me. I am not a bad person. I am not ugly and terrible. It just means I feel differently than they do. Conversely, what someone says about me is not going to change me. I will stioll be walking and breathing the next day. I may not like to be around that person, but I will not vanish because of a dissenting opinion of me. Sad that it took me all this time to come to this. But I am here. Now, all I have to do is live it everyday.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Insolent Welp

It seems that Mister Priapus over at the WhoreHouse of Mirth and Merriment has picked up darling Nicki's gauntlet and flung it at me. They want to know 5 weird things about me. Well, I tell you my friends and gentle readers, I am no coward. I will answer this challenge and you shall bear witness. 1. I am attracted to nuns. Something about a young woman in a nuns habit gets my motor running. The image of that cotton-wool garment draped over alabaster skin that has not even been kissed by the suns rays entices me. I shiver to hear moans escape from lips that only part in prayer. Perhaps it is the innocence, that they represent. Perhaps it is the chastity and purity. Perhaps it is the thought of deflowering a virgin. Could it be the concept of what is unattainable. Seemingly close at-hand, yet unreachable. Or..mayhaps, I am just bonkers. 2. My favorite movie is What Dreams May Come. Growing up as a young man, things were rarely fun. I never had a girlfriend. Having few friends also, I was very prone to reading and watching television. I read tales of heroes and thier deads. Stories of men who risked everything for one woman. Tales of women who stood by thier men thru hell, and stayed every bit a woman along the way. This is what I believed love was. Watching this film. that is what it is all about. Being really in love with someone. What these two people felt in this movie shook the heavens. And after 20 years they still rushed home to see each other. I like to hope that for some people this is what loving someone means. Because, I still cry everytime I watch it. 3. My best friend wants me to have a sub, for my veery own I am friends with one of the chapter leaders of Alternative Lifestyles in Texas. For several years now he hasd been pushing an agenda for me to have my very own sub. He believes that I am a dom at heart and that a sub is my destiny. I must confess, that to some degree the idea appeals to me. A young brunette nun on a leash at my wrist is a fantasy I have always had. I could not abuse or degrade her, it is against my nature. But the very basis of a sub, ie, there to fullfill you wants and desires because they want to, is intrigueing. Someone who is there for my pleasures, readily and willingly. And to not hold back a thought or emotion because they wont be shocked or judgemental. That is a fantasy few could resist living. 4. I recite movie lines at random. Some movies stand out in my mind. Something about the scene or the portrayal of the scene makes it memorable. This causes certain scenes to stick with me. Because my mind works in abstracts I recall these at odd moments. Hence my penchant for repeating obscure movie lines. Unfortunately because they ARE obscure to others, the lines make me sound crazy. 5. Until I was 28 years old I always had nightmares. For unknown reasons I had suffered nightmares on a constant basis. I could not until recently recount a dream that did not end in horror or terror. I do not know what catalyst took effect, or what enviromental value changed, but at some point during my 28th year I had a different dream. It was not great, but it was not a flight of terror from an unknown enemy. I am still plagued with nightmares more often than not, but occasionaly now I simply have a dream. So there you have it. There are weirder things about me, but you sont need to know them. Now, I pass the torch over to a friend at Falling to my Death and my Knees

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Im just sayin'

The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'. - Larry Hardiman

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Sorry. had to be done

I just felt the need to post this. I could not resist it.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

I Love music

I love a good song. Listen to Pearl Jam's song Black sometime I weighed every comment and statement that I recieved about the library card post. You guys are the best. I really hope you are right. I am not going to hold my breath though. Instead, I am listening to music. This is a bit from Pearl Jam song I heard. Seems to fit right now. And now my bitter hands cradle broken glass of what was everything All the pictures have, all been washed in black And tattooed everything All the love gone bad Has turned my world to black And tattooed all I see And all that I am And all I'll be I need another beer. taken from

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Incredibly Beautiful

This is one of the coolest things I have seen in a long time. The entire group is deaf Chinese students doing this routine. I have heard some say they do it by cue card and even more people say they practice it with visual timing. I for one am more inclined to believe the latter. I know a few Chinese people and it would be more in thier nature to learn the routine, than depend on cards. Watch it. It is truly beautiful to see. You can click the photo or load it from here: Dancing Students.

Friday, November 11, 2005

Which are you?

I ran across something. It was discussing terrorists and thier reasons for what they do. And I read something that made me tingle. I want to share it with you Where there's sacrifice, there's someone collecting sacrificial offerings. Where there's service, there's someone being served. The man who speaks to you of sacrifice, speaks of slaves and masters. And intends to be the master.

Friday, November 04, 2005

Lying Idiot

Just another idiot trying to get someone to pay for him being a dumbass. You dont just get diabetes. Its not a viral pathogen, nor is it a psychosis. You dont just develop it. You lead a lifestyle that encourages it. And as for the nightmares, he is making it up. YES. I called him a liar. Got his phone number? I will call him and tell him, and his mama that he is a liar. He is trapped in confined spaces in his dreams. Confinement nightmares dont work that way. Its too straight forward to have been something in a dream. Sounds like scripting to me. Wonder what studio his lawyer works for. Anyone that has had nightmares of being confined can tell you that dont come out this easy. There is always more too it. You usually get free only to be confined again. And he says that the employees thought he was joking. I would have too. What moron glues himself to a damn toilet seat? Well, besides this one. And thats is the million dollar question. How did this rocket scientist manage to get his fatass glued down? You know how long he had to sit there for it to work? Any glue strong enough to hold down a 150 adult male of reasonable strength is not going to dry in less than 30 minutes, while pressure is applied. And how did this man not notice the seat was wet when he sat down? And why the hell did he continue to sit in it? I mean, when you sit down in a toilet and the seat is wet the first thought has got to be 'I just sat in urine'. So why did he not get up? I can answer that. there are only two possiblities. The first one for me is, he glued himself down. IF he ever was actually glued down to start with. Everyone I ever heard of that accidently glued anything exceept thier fingers took a hell of a lot longer than 20 minutes to get the glue off. Second is, he is a special kind of idiot. One that will probably grace the pages of Darwin Awards sometime in the future. Oddly Enough News Article | "LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - A Colorado man who had a panic attack when he found he was glued to a toilet seat in a Home Depot restroom has sued the home improvement giant for negligence, saying staff ignored his plight. Retired electrical engineer Bob Dougherty, 57, said on Thursday he was stuck in the stall with his pants down for about 20 minutes and that two years after the 2003 incident he was suffering from post-traumatic stress, which has triggered diabetes and heart complications. 'I have these nightmares every night where I am locked in this dark room, with no windows, no doors, no fresh air, no route for escape. I wake up in these cold sweats,' Dougherty said. Spokesmen for Home Depot Inc. could not immediately be reached for comment. Dougherty said in a lawsuit filed last week in Boulder, Colorado, that he thought he was having a heart attack when he realized his buttocks and legs were stuck to the toilet seat in the Home Depot restroom in Louisville, Colorado. He explained his plight to an employee who came into the restroom but other Home Depot staffers thought it was a hoax and he had to wait until someone else came in to again summon help. Dougherty is claiming unspecified damages for help with medical and psychiatric bills, for humiliation and for the diabetes he said he has developed as a result of the stress. 'Home Depot not only ignored my plight, they refused my plight,' he said. Dougherty said he suspected the glue had been placed there as a prank by three teens seen earlier in the store."

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

All I want is too look good

Well, its Halloween again. That time of year when people dress up and go out and generaly have a good time. I thought about heading over to a local bar all decked out and having a few for fun. Except for one thing. I cant find a decent costume. And before you run off with something like, Elvis, or Batman or something like that, listen a second.

There are no decent costumes for me. I looked thru a lot of them and for some reason I simply cannot see myself dressed up as Neo, Elvis, Batman, Superman, Captain Hook, or any of those other fairly popular and easily recognizable guys. Why, you ask? Be cause I look silly. When I was a kid doing the Halloween thing around the neighborhood I always picked someone, everyone knew. And so did everyone else. And thats when I started to notice it. Black guys do not make good Supermen, Elvis' (Elvi, Elvises, Elviss' what do you call a herd of Elvis Impersonators?), Albert Einsteins, or any of those household name types. Unless you were in something that was unmistakeable as to the referance, people never get who you are to start with. If you do pick someone you like, then you invariably have people walk up and stare at you for minutes while they try to figure out who you are supposed to be. Think Im wrong. Ok. Try this. Black guy in a suit from the 1800's, Big white ruffles comming out the front of his suit and the sleeves. Mustache cut thin, no beard, carrying a black bird around. Think on it. I have time. I will just feed the bird while you make yourself crazy. Finnaly give up? It is Edgar Alan Poe. Ok still dont belive me. Here is an easy one. Black guy again. blond wig. Brown and green leotard. calf high boots, carrying a bow with him. Some of you might get it some of you are still thinking. It would be Legolas. But picture it in your mind. See how odd it looks? And yes, I know the point of dressing up is to be someone you are not. And I dont disagree with that. BUT. When it comes to people young black people can identify with and immulate, the pickings are sparce. No, no no. I dont want to be him or him. Every black guy in America has been offered a Blade, or Morpheus costume over the past three years. And honestly, most of us pull it off horribly. Me dressed as Blade is as bad as a 300 pound redneck dressed up as Batman. scary picture there. Batman's beer gut hanging out his costume as he wheezes over to you. He slowly takes the Marlboro from his lips and says, "Ahm Bahtman, Ya'll".

Thats my whole point. I want to have more choice in costumes. Something cool, classy, and dignified that looks good on me.

And no, I am not going to be Shaka Zulu either.

Monday, September 26, 2005

Peace on Earth

Well the panic is over After all the hoopla and uproar the 'Hurricane' is over. The city of Houston citizens went into a mad panic and basically ransacked the town. In the two days prior to the 'storm' people mobbed stores buying up any and everything they could get thier hands on. In my area of town there are 14 water vending machines within 6 blocks of each other. They were all emptied out by Thursday night. There are 4 gas stations within these same six blocks. They were empty too. People fled town in cars, caught flights to anywhere, and generaly ran off half cocked and unsure. People were rude and unfeeling to each other and acted as if theirs, was the only life worth while. And after watching all this mayhem I must say..... Damn glad to see it! Oh yeah. You see I have very little belief in mankind as a species. People are rude, destructive, and callous by nature. So I expected people to react the way they did. Whipped into a frenzy by the media, people were practically frothing at the mouth, as the scrambled for supplies. Pushing, shoving, and generaly just being wrong to each other. Why, I saw two guys pull thier vehicles around a gas station and block the entrances so that others could not get into the station atall. Hmmm.... No. they didt work there. They were waiving their buddies thru the blockade. Ahhh.... I tell ya. Its good to know people are just as I expected them to be. Why? Because that means when real disaster hits, most of them are going to kill themselves and each other. And maybe, just maybe there will finnaly be some peace on Earth

Friday, September 16, 2005

Movements in Thought

I will tell you now that I have been thinking. This writing is not ascorbic or blustering. It is simply my thoughts. Take it as it is. A rambling conversation in my head that you are privy to listen to if you choose to. So here I sit. A being of blood and rage awaiting a call. Something to move me towards.... something. I persue fields of right and wrong with a practiced eye towards doing "the right thing" as it is called. But to what ends? After what feels as a life time I still feel no closer to an answer. Am I a wayward soldier struggling to live thru an invisible war? Am I a holyman flung into a pit of heathen? Or am I just a lunatic that has not come to know himself? I once heard something said and it has always weighed on my mind. Does the loneliness of good, compare to the loneliness of evil? And what of these deeds that I do? Do they serve anyone? Have I ever actually saved anyone? Have I even helped anyone? Some would say yes but I do not know. It seems as if for all my attempts they still become victims. And what of myself? Does my suffering bear fruit in the afterlife? Are there members of a great hall waiting to welcome me with open arms, and show me the way into a field of grain? Its nice to think so, but its hard to know. Once my faith and belief was like steel. But steel rusts unless it is oiled and cleaned. I take the small blessings and am happy for them. But what of the joys my heart seeks? Are they simply things to be ignored? Most religions would say that if you do your lord's bidding then you're rewarded. I still wait for joyful rewards. Perhaps the small blessings are my rewards. Maybe they are just gifts of the faith. Mayhap I have not done enough. I dont know. All I really do know is that its dark here, and the only sound is my breathing.

Monday, September 12, 2005

Ya'll dont come back now. Ya Hea!

This goes out to The New York Times. The story they wrote on Houston and the Katrina evacuees was one-sided and biased. There have been a few issues with the evacuees. Not everthing has ever gone as smoothly as it was written on paper. But this big city(which I often think of as one monkey cage) got off thier asses and did something. WE (Houston)have the largest number of evacuees from Louisiana. People are going out of thier way to do something to help thier fellow man. Entire apartment complexes have been re-opened in some cases just to help. ACE check cashing near my home cut prices for anyone with a Louisiana, or Mississpi ID. Burger Kings near downtown are giving away food to the victims. What has New York done? Oh yeah. You nice folks did this and this. And I am very sure the victims appreciate your championing "thier poverty". As someone who is also poor I can say its always nice when some white-middle-class yuppie fuck tellls me how much they are on my side. And I am sure the Katrina victims can feel your love as they eat thier RedCross sandwiches. You send A(as in one)reporter here and talk to 3 goddamn companies about hardware sales and oil rigs and think that is all we are about? What about the people donating thier time? Effectively working a second job to go over to the Astrodome and volunteer? What about the 20 or so people that went down to the Dome of thier own volition and started giving out supplies the first day? Dont any of these people deserve any recognition for thier humanitarian efforts? But no I guess not. That would not be news worthy would it. Afterall with the finger pointing and blame laying that is going on right now, it would be wrong to give anyone credit for anything wouldnt it? Just goes to show there is always one ass-monkey that wants to complain about something they have jack shit to do with. So to The New York Times and The Herald Tribune I say FUCK YOU! And Ya'll dont come back now. Ya Hea! BTW. Hat Tip to Darth Apathy who had this to say Go fuck yourselves. Signed, Pissed Off Houstonian

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Will you please, SHUT THE FUCK UP

I got something on my mind folks and it aint going to be pretty.
First and fore-most. Do not talk to me about Republicans, Democrats, Partisans, Bi-Partisans, Liberals, Independants or any of that crap. I do not know the difference and dont give a damn. One politician is just like any other. A sleezy, money grubbing son-of-a-bitch that doesnt do anything for anyone unless they think they can get a vote out of it. And all the political label is, is something they tell you so you will think they are on your side. Remember kids, most politicians started out as lawyers and real-estate salesmen. And how many of you out there trust lawyers?
You dont do you? So stop already with the party titles.
Second thing. If one more person comes and talks to me about the war in Iraq and starts Bush-Bashing I am going to loose my fucking mind. I mean it. I am going to flip the fuck out and kill someone. Everywhere I go some dipshit comes up to me and starts in with the "President Bush, and his war in Iraq. Its all about the oil ya know." These people dont know a damn thing. They can rattle off names and statistics and dates about who went where and who signed what but they cant tell you when was the last time they had soemthing interesting to say. What the hell is wrong with you people? You are ranting and raving about the war like you got a personal stake in it. I dont see non. NOT ONE of your asses over there on the firing line. And what the fuck do you have against the war? What has the war done to you personally? Have you started making less money because of it? Did your wife or husband leave you because of it? Did your house get stormed and taken over by enemy troops? Did the war make your car break down? Could you not buy something at the store because your ration card was used up? HUH? WHAT? TELL ME WHAT THE HELL THE WAR DID TO YOU? Your life was headed right the hell where it is now before the war. Bush didnt do jack shit to you by going to war. If there was no war you would still have your fatass lazing about somewhere blaming Bush, Republicans, Democrats, Martians, or goddamn Molemen for something. So get the fuck over it.
And I am so sick of that stupid woman camped outside Bush's ranch. Whats her name? Cindy Sheehan. Yeah right. That loose pussed bag needs to get a fucking life. I have something I really want to tell her. I would just stroll right up next to her and smile and say. 'Go the fuck home. Your son is dead. He joined the Army and went to war and died just like other people did in every other battle the Us has sent young boys to. Its a war. Men die in war. I know you miss your little boy and you need someone to blame for your grief. If you really need to be mad at someone, be mad at your son. HE enlisted and went to war. No one came to your house and drug him off. HE ENLISTED. HE is the one that left you all alone. But do me and the rest of the world a favor. Go home. Do what they did in the forties. Go home and try to get own with your life. And if you find that you cant. Then you can do what so many others have done when in this situation. OFF YOURSELF'. Then I would offer her a beer. Cause she needs to get wasted and get the shit out of her system.
And before you say it. NO. I dont like Bush. Hate him. But for a different reason than you. He is a politician. And politicians are just lawyers in disguise.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

HEHE... I knew that

The Hermit Card
You are the Hermit card. The Hermit has chosen a
solitary spiritual path. He shines light on his
inner self and, by this means, gains wisdom.
The Hermit's home is the natural world and it
is by being in tune with that world that he
learns the laws of nature and learn how they
operate within himself. His path is a lonely
one as he lives in silence and has for
companionship only his own internal rhythms.
But those crossing his path are touched by his
light and wisdom. Though often alone, he
manages nevertheless to instruct those who meet
him and guides those who chose to follow him on
a path towards enlightenment. Image from The
Aleister Crowley Tarot deck.

Which Tarot Card Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Think on it

Political extremism involves two prime ingredients: an excessively simple diagnosis of the world's ills, and a conviction that there are identifiable villains back of it all. John W. Gardner

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

A VERY thin blue line

I ran across this link today while I was looking for something.

Mistaken identity turns deadly

And I keep thinking. How the hell can you not know something was up? I mean come on really. How can any rational person think this is normal? They shot another cop. 'He wouldnt identify himself'. Yeah Right. You telling me an armed deputy with several years on the force sees two armed Constables and he wont tell them who he is? they got guns and they are running up behind him. And then comes the question... what would he have been doing that made them shoot him? and the answer. NOTHING. HE was walking around a building. according to a witness one of the Constables dropped to one knee and emptied the clip at him. Now according to the Constables he turned to face them with a weapon in his hand. So they fired. Ok. Fair enough. EXCEPT he had four shots IN THE BACK. What happened to two in the chest to put a man down? since when is shooting 16 rounds at someone considered reasonable force, if they arent resisting or threatening? and an eye witness doesnt mention shit about the constable identifying themselves. and the cop that did it? well he has 15 years on the force. So you telling me that in his 15 years he never learned to figure out who the bad guy was BEFORE he busted a cap in someone? And what does the police administration think of all this? ' The Houston Police Department and Sheriff's Department are investigating the case.' Yeah right. Like all these people were investigated? WTF? Thats it! I want a badge so I can randomly fuck people up legally. And I'd do it too. "FUCKER! You fucked up my cheese burger! BLAM BLAM. "When the investigation team comes around Im telling them you had a knife and came at me thru the drive thru window. Didnt double bag my groceries. BLAM BLAM BLAM. "Fucker tried to kill me with a plastic bag. I could have suffocated or some shit" So be careful boys and girls. The boys with badges are out there, and they are armed.

Saturday, July 02, 2005

A RE-wording

Ok. I think my last post may have missed the point. Most people are taking it as a bash on hispanics/mexicans. It is NOT. I failed to explain myself properly and so I feel the need to set things right. I dont have a problem with mexicans or hispanics in general. I like a lot of them and a few seem to like me. The issue I have with the peoiple in my neighborhood is that they are perpetuating the problems. In some cases they are the problem. The people that have moved into my area are low income, hard life people. I have spoken of the hispanics in the area because they are prominant at this time. There was a time two years ago when three other black families moved into the neighborhood. I did not want them there either. They were loud, obnoxious people. They would have fist fights at 3am in the middle of the parking lot and stand around on the corner drinking all damn day. I was always the guy that called the cops on them at night. Why? Because they are guilty of what the current residents are doing. They moved to a better place, a safer place, and they brought the hardship and trouble with them. They did not take the time to say say 'Hey. I moved up from where I was. Maybe I should try to live up to what I aspire to be' Instead, they moved from where they were and brought the fighting, corner drinking and trouble that they were trying to leave behind. Same with the current residents. They came here presumably for a better way of living and they do they same crap again. No one stops to think. If 1 man throws a bottle in the bushes and its littler, then when 4 people do the same for three days you got heap of filth and its attracting vermin. Is the place where you used to live was really nasty and the new home is getting as bad? DONT THROW DIRTY FUCKING DIAPERS OUT YOUR FRONT DOOR! Its fairly simple. You left a town where you were a prostitute going down on every dirty drunken sod that paid you? Then when you move...DONT SUCK DICK! Didnt like the junkies and drug dealers being around your family? Then, DONT FUCKING INVITE THEM TO YOUR NEW HOUSE! It is a really simple plan for living that works well. I have lived it, so I know it works. I grew up in the Fifth ward, of Houston Texas. And if it were not for the teachings of my mother then my sister and I would still be there just like the people we went to school with. I took a trip into the area several months ago. The same guy I went to fourth grade went still lives there. The only difference? He moved out of his mothers apartment into one across the street. And his kids are moving across the street next to thier grandmother. Again. Not evolving mentally or socially. He is perpetuating the same thinking that his mother has and passing it on to his kids. When my family moved from the ward the first thing we learned was, 'dont do that! This aint the ghetto'. And this group of people moving into my area never learned that. so what do we have now? A declining neighborhood where people are wondering "Why are things getting so bad over here?" And the answer is... "Because you brought the garbage in the house with you"

Sunday, June 26, 2005


Where I live it was mostly almost completely asian immigrants. That was 8 years ago. When I moved in there were few NON asians in the neighborhood. And we kept things quiet and low key and generaly stayed out of trouble. Over the past year or so, most of the properties in the area have been sold to other people. Non asian land developers and entrepreneurs have bought the apartments and started renting to ANYONE that came along. This has led to a large number of NON asian immigrants moving into the area. To be more specific a huge number of Hispanics have taken over the area. Now we got guns, prostitutes, and drugs all over the place. The even converted an entire complex into a whore house. Hold on, hold on. Before you get your undies knotted. I am not racist. I like hispanic people. Heck one of my closest friends is hispanic. Roland is a great guy and if anyone screwed with him I would go after them. And I spent a year in Honduras. Sweet, friendly people that would help anyone. And the women were terrific. And I love a sweet, little senorita, with long black hair and a cute smile. Most hispanics are firery and fun when they like you. So dont call me a racist. I dont dislike MOST of the people in my neighborhood. I just dont trust them, and here is why. Most of them came from a low income, hard luck life where they had little. They have few hopes for a change. Sure Mexico City is rich and its people live well, but go to Tijuana, Mexico and get off the tourist track. People are desperate. Heck stay on the tourist track and Im sure one of the little kids will beg you for something. So a large number of people in mexico and South American countries come here. Problem is they arent changing. They come from an enviroment where they could throw garbage anywhere. Going to the bathroom meant finding a good bush. And eating meant getting some money to do it with. And they bring this same mentality with them. This group of people doesnt know how to take care of anything because they never had shit to begin with. They throw garbage where they will because that is what they did where they are from. The children go about breaking things in the midst of 'playing' because no one ever told them no to. People wander the steet selling anything they have to get a few bucks. They bring crime with them because they are hard luck people that are easy victims and the hard luck criminals that prey on them come with them. Hell, I met 2 that were here because they were wanted in Mexico. And dont gimme that "well, immigrants take jobs no one else wants" shit. This aint about being legal. Its about people comming to where I live and trashing the place. I dont want the black drug dealer in my neighborhood either. We have people peeing in the damn bushes every night. When there is an accident on my street (which is every Friday/Saturday) someone involved speeds away because they dont have insurance or registration, or a green card. I see cars without headlights, or bumpers driving thru the neighborhood racing at wrong speeds. Drug dealers make trades in parking lots near peoples homes. I get stopped once a week and asked if I know where to get some Mota. They converted an apartment complex into a giant whorehouse complete with guards and lookouts. Drunks wander around after dark and pick fights with anyone. This group of people is making the area a bad place to be. And whhy is that? simple. These people were low-lifes where they were before and they are low-lifes now and thay are transforming a nice quiet place to live into an open air sewer.

Friday, June 10, 2005

Hehehehe - Yeah. Your point?

Your Deadly Sins

Lust: 60% Envy: 40% Sloth: 40% Wrath: 40% Gluttony: 20% Greed: 20% Pride: 0% Chance You'll Go to Hell: 31% You'll die while in the throws of passion - the best way to go.

Friday, May 27, 2005

'Nuff Said

Whats your Battlecry?

Stalking through the steppes, wielding a sharpened screwdriver, cometh Heretic! And he gives an ominous scream:

"You in some shit now, muthafuka! Skulls will be fucked for Satan!"

Find out! What is my BattleCry? created by beatings : powered by monkeys

Saturday, May 14, 2005

I still wanna know

I have had a good life. I got thru a divorce/seperation and despite some hurts and scars we both are ok. I have a job that doesnt require me to handle anything explosive or nasty. I had a car and experienced driving again after years of using public transportation. I have a home that is all mine and everything it in belongs to me. I owe no one and Im in reasonable health. And yet I cant help but ask one question. Why am I still single? When women will go out in public looking like this?

How can sleeping with me be a bad choice? I mean come on. Obviously you arent worried about your image.

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Really a lot of fun

I have been involved in a new game lately. Its Xiah; Oriental Fantasy Online It is a really fun game. I have only been in about three days but I really enjoy it.
This is my first character Shirkhan and his pet tiger; Bakira.

Its a nice pet but boy does it need to eat. Costs roughly 100 coins every half hour to keep him, otherwise he goes feral and attacks me. Hopefully as time progresses I will gain a few more coins, and the feeding wont be such a hassle.
And the best thing about this game is that its free. All you have to do is download and register.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Some days

This is going to be a rambling post. I have not been here for a while and I need to put my thoughts down someplace. I expect few to understand and fewer answers. But I am plauged with a wondering. Does bad luck exist? Can a person be cursed to exoerience only a negative side to things? and if so why? What persuades the universe to make a whipping boy out of one being? I dont know. Wish I did. And then there is the other thing. Someone said, "thats your problem. Stop trying to help the world and do something for you" Now how does one do that? At what point does your brain take a left turn and stop saying, "consider thier feelings" and start saying, "fuck them"? I am faced with a real delimna in life. I have 4 choices. All are good, but three people get hurt no matter what. So how does one choose who to save? Who has the right to be the one? I know, I know. Pick one and let the others be to thier own path. Yeah. I know that too. But that doesnt make choosing easier. Yeah, yeah, you dont have to say it. Truth is I already chose. Just a part of me wants to see what I am going to be missing. And I cant do that once I make the choice public. And this goes beyond just some choice of the day. Its about lots of things. Inability to choose out of fear of doing damage. The desire to make everybody happy. None of these are healthy. Problem is it isnt something you just turn off and say Im done. Its a part of personality and psyche. So it creeps in when you arent looking. So its an uphill fight. And with life kicking me in the pants these past two weeks it aint easy. Some days I just wanna walk away and pretend I was never here.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Its a Hate-Crime! STUPID!

How the fuck can they do this? HOW IN THE FUCK CAN THEY DO THIS? How the hell do you condone, support, or even empathize with this? Full Story here Witnesses say the attackers were all black and called their victims “white crackers” during the bloody melee, which raged for almost 20 minutes. “This is not being looked at as a bias crime,” NYPD Deputy Inspector Kevin McGinn said at the meeting. Folks this makes me hurt, angry and embarrased. These people beat and stomped 4 young girls while shoutting 'Martin Luther King, and white crackers'. And it is wrong for so many reasons. First of all Martin Luther King was not about violence. He would never advocate beating anyone for any reason. He was about ending violence and treating each other as equals, and respecting each other as beings. And I am sure the fact that someone used his name while commiting a hate crime hurts his soul and his family. Is this what I worked my whole life for? To have the dignity and respect I work for torn away from me by some hairless monkeys? I hear black people all the time that wonder, or complain about 'white treatment'. Then this happens. Is it any wonder that so much of society does not want any relation, or interaction with Black Americans? Can you blame people for crossing the street when they see me comming? Or for clutching thier purses a little tighter as I pass? When you have people like this around its no wonder I am reduced to being 'black guy' whenn I walk own the street. Now a bunch of people are saying that if it was the other way around it would have been an issue the media would jump on. And they are right. And that makes the whole thing hurt just that much more. We want to be equals. Not special cases. Not exceptions. Equals. If its wrong for Billy Bob, then its wrong for Jaleel too. Thats the way it is supposed to work. For the city officials to ignore or downplay it is unforgiveable. Its a hate crime. It was wrong. I dont care if half the fucking city burns down in the resulting riot. A group of black people attacked a group of white people for no reason other than color. They go to prison. It doesnt matter if they are 6, 16, or 26, its wrong. Black, white, yellow, green, orange, or fuchia. ITS WRONG. They go to prison. These kids were wrong for what they did. The court was in use and they could have waited thier turn or gone someplace else. This wasnt right. You dont stomp and kick someone because they wouldnt let you play basketball. You dont hurt people for petty bullshit. You dont slander thier color. They didnt get a choice on the wrapper they came in. What you do is go do something to elevate the relations. Something to maintain or increase the respect and integrity that so many of us are trying to build everyday.

Saturday, April 02, 2005

Please dont pee on the couch

' 34-stone (476lb) woman dies after becoming fused to the fabric' Now thats just nasty. How the hell can you get so fat and gross that you fuse into a couch? I mean WTF? Do you just sit there and pee and shit on yourself? How in the Blue Hell do you sit down in one spot and not move for six fucking years? What do you do? I mean I picture this lady sitting on the couch tempting girlscouts to get close so she can devour them. She weighed 34 stone! Thats 476 fucking pounds! And she was married! Her husband said he would never make her move. Why the fuck not? Did he enjoy waiting on this fleshy behemoth hand and foot. I mean damn. You come home from a hard days work of getting your ass ragged all day and you gotta go home to this stank cow and change her pee jar! I tell ya he is a better man than me. Two weeks. Thats all she would get. Just two fucking weeks. Then its, "Sweety. Love you but if you dont get up and wash your ass Im gonna BLOW YOUR FUCKING BRAINS OUT! And when you finish that clean this fucking house! And STOP PEEING ON THE FUCKING FURNITURE!" And if you dont want to be mean. Then you just wait till she goes to sleep and grab a crowbar and pry her ass loose! Geez, I mean come on. You dont enble someone to do this. And I love the last statement. 'Police have now sealed off the house and began questioning family members over possible charges of neglect'. NEGLECT? NEGLECT? Yeah right. Listen if I leave you in a room and you dont move your ass for a week, you are going to fucking starve cause I sure as hell aint gonna feed you.

More than I can handle

Gmail is getting bigger. I logged in today to find that I now have 2 gigs of space. And I dont know what to do with it. I mean two gigs of mail space. Hell, I barely used 30 megs. And 25 of that was people sending me screenshots of stuff. Now Im upto TWO GIGS. And I still have 50 Invitations. I dont know 50 people I like enough to talk to, let alone invite. What the hell? I guess I could do the cheaty thing and send a message to another address and make a box for a different name. But seems kinda.....I dont know. Makes me feel like I am stealing.
But I have to fiond something to do with these 50 invites. Got any ideas?
- The only thing that is humiliating is helplessness. -
                - -

Saturday, March 19, 2005


Ok, so I havent posted for a while. But I HAVE been busy. Benn doing things to imporve, no sitting around getting fat for this guy. I been working. Alot. Building websites and stuff. And along with this I have been pissed off to the hightest level of pissedostity. freakin' HPD. "I can drive how I want. Im a policeman and I dont have to drive safely". Fuckin' morons. Self rightous, sanctimonious assbags. Just cause you got a fuckin' piece of tin, and a shiny blue suit doesnt mean you can mistreat people. "Im out here protecting you, sir." MY ASS. You're out here feeding your goddamn ego. Take that damn uniform and badge away I bet youi'll think twice before you start cutting other people off. Get your ass blasted on the freeway. As a matter of fact why the fuck are you over there? Why the hell arent you down the street, watching those fuckers that have been breaking into cars? Where were you then Mister Protection? Bet you were off in some Dennys stuffing your already bloated face, were'nt you? Fucking prick bastards.

Saturday, March 12, 2005

Ok. here we go again ya'll

I dont know what the fuck is wrong with Florida judges. But you can bet your sweet ass Im staying the hell out of it. How in the hell can you do this shit? If its my fucking machine how the hell can I be wire-tapping? And dont gimme that well its actually her huisbands machine crap. Every married man knows, HE dont own shit, except some tools, some clothes, and maybe a dvd player. Hell, if they are like most couples I know, then she picked the damn machine out. Im sure they both used it. So why the hell is it wire-tapping to capture logs on your own machine? I tell ya why.. cause its Florida. Look at the crap that happened with the voting a few years ago. Then you get taser happy cops zapping kids left and right. Leave it to Florida to come up with some contridictory, non-sense crap. And the media wonders why people are shooting judges all of a sudden.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Met a porn star

Met a porn star. And guess what. She's married. Now I know there is a such thing as understanding and all that but really. Wheres the line? I mean I sure as hell couldnt do it. And her outlook was that, "HE has to be ok with it because she would do it anyway. And that in the end physical intimacy doesnt mean love". To this I say no, it doesnt mean love but, its pretty high up there to me. Not to mention the sleepless nights. I mean think about it. MOST porn guys are hired by thier size and look. So unless you already know every guy on the set you gotta be a little concerned. And dont gimme that size doesnt matter crap. If that was so Penis Fertilizer wouldnt sell so well. So any guy, well, any but this guy is gonna wonder. And what about when she is moaning and whithering around on the set? Are you sure shes just faking for the camera? Yeah you think you know but do ya really? And then the scenes themselves will kill ya. Some guy has got his little German soldier in your wifes mouth, and you aint gonna be pissed? She's infront of a camera dangling like a trout, and you think its cool? And even if you get by all that. Walking down the street everyday is gonna be hell. Guys running up, "Oh, Ms Lane. You are the best ever! The way you took that guys load was freakin' beautiful". And you gotta wonder when you pass a guy looking, 'Did he do my wife?'. chasing him down screaming, "Did you play Vlad the Impaler with her?". And the arguements. "You took it in the ass for Lex Steele. So why not me? What I gotta pay you first? Or do I just have to yell action and go from there?". And the intimate sections could be a pain too. In the middle of it she wants to get up and fix her makeup or check the lighting. BTW, what if she says shes had a "hard day"? Some guy done wore out your piece and you get to wait till her Ms Salty aint dragging the floor. Nope. could not be me. Leave me if you must sweety, but Im gonna make sure that I have a woman with only one hand in the cookie jar

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Blood Rage

Its a blood rage night. One of those nights when you can think of nothing else but roaming the streets. Slipping thru darkness and feeling cool air on your skin. Waiting for that one. Your veins throb with the need for freedom. The need to run thru the night as fast ask you can, letting the wind fly thru your hair. The hunger building inside as you look for something that will satisfy your needs. Wheter it be carnel or combat makes no matter. The act of either would simply be an affirmation of life itself. To run thru the streets on your haunches howling, and baying. Leaping from shadow to shadow. Saviouring the essence of the moment. Crashing thru bushes, scrambling up trees. ONWARD INTO THE NIGHT MY FRIENDS! For there is prey afoot.

Monday, February 14, 2005

The Beast revisited

This looked pretty interesting so I posted it back in October. The Beast is a new movie that is currently in pre-production. It is due to be released on the odd (but of course controversial) date of 6/6/06. The movie is about a young girl who, following in her father’s footsteps, discovers perhaps the greatest secret in the history of organized religion (namely Christianity): Jesus Christ never existed. Find out more here: The Beast This is a responce I recieved from someone. >One comment here to think about: >Jesus is representation of the suffering there is in this world, the good that can persist through out suffering and yet I see evidence around me of people more >willing to embrace the demons, the evil in this world. It sickens me to see this world going to hell. Is this all the media's (Hollywood)doing? You know tha bible >is so much bigger than our summarized copy that we may own at home. Why not make an epic movie about that. Why is it so much easier to be bad and believe in the devil >than to be good and believe that there was a man who did exist and "obviously" left a mark in the world throuogh his teachings. There is too much written from so long ago >for it to be all a lie. Faith is in good can't be wrong. Hmmmm..... Now I am not a fan of Christianity but I will endeaver to be diplomatic. First of all. Hollywood itself is all about fantasy. A grand "what if" played out visually. Sometimes its about history and what it has taught us. But in general no movie should be taken too seriously. EVER. Now that said. There has been a great great deal of debate about whether ther was a Jesus or not. And if he really did exist then who was he really. There are so many theories and supositions that almost anyone could say was something or another. I have heard people say some really silly shit. And then I have heard some people say some really great things regarding religion. Watching a movie or being interested in watching a film, reading a book, or asking questions doesnt mean you embrace evil. On the contrary, embracing evil takes a bit more of a commitment than that. Trust me when I say, I have met evil and it doesnt like the media. While I will agree that this world is going to hell, I think it is something besides HollyWood. Personally I think these guys are responsible. After all it is they who keep Britney, Justin, and Nora on the air. Bubblegum candy crap makes me want to drive to the radio station and fuck Sam Malone up the ass with a broken GoldShlager bottle! But thats me. According to many the Bible is very big and was never printed in completeness. I honestly would love to know about the missing years of Christ. there is an Epic film about Christ. The Passion of The Christ, its one of the top grossing films of 2004. So yeah some people do want to know about it. Now then. Why is it so easy to be bad? Cause bad's fun baby. Bad is cool. Bad is sexy. I mean comeon, nobody wants to hang out with Myron cause he is clean cut and doesnt curse. Everyone wants to hang out with Chris cause he's a wild motherfucker that has no respect for man or beast. Its just human nature. We dont want whats good for us, we want what feels good to us. And yes. It can be a lie. Some of the best lies around went for years. Take the PiltDown Man another example, The Sasquach. History has proven time and again that power hungry men/women will lie, cheat, steal and kill for thier precious bit of power. Court TV is litter with them. Faith is a good thing as long as you know what you believe in. Just ask Sherry about it

Sunday, February 06, 2005

Yooo Joooe

Ok. A big ups to Dark Apathy for this Yoooo Joe Iraqi militants claimed in a Web statement on 2/1/05 to have taken an American soldier hostage and threatened to behead him in 72 hours unless the Americans release Iraqi prisoners. This is the guy they have.

So the Iraqis have stolen some poor kids toy? And they are going to behead him? What an outrage. I tell ya this would not have happened if they had let GI Joe keep his kung fu grip. Where is the Six Million Dollar Man when you need him? I bet Col Steve Austin can get Joe outta this.

Sunday, January 16, 2005

Lever 2000

I cannot believe the complete lack of self and backbone that exists today. To be told by someone that I can not succeed because I obviously dont know how to play the game. This guy just goes off telling me that I am politicaly incorrect and cant function in Corporate America. Like he even knows me. Fucking yuppie bitch. No I may not make it in The corporate world, but theres a reason for that. I aint some whiney puck ass bitch that kneels. Sure you can bow down and suck the boss's dick when he comes in, laugh at his stupid jokes and generaly look like an ass. And if you blow him just right or give him a good hand job while you are rimming him you get that shiny new promotion. And if you didnt do it right then you just got shit on your breath, and a tangy after-taste from the load you just swallowed. Meanwhile you're know to all your co-workers as dick-cheese, brown boy, ass mole, or Bob's bitch, whether you got something or not. So who the fuck wants to play that game? Before too long you are whoring yourself out to whoever the highest bidder is. Always waiting for the BBD (bigger, better, deal).You compromise your principles and your dignity for some matterialistic bullshit that can be taken away from you in the blink of an eye. Or you get some perceived level of power and influence that doesnt really exist. You keep giving in on one more issue, one more inch until you dont live by your own principles or feelings. You scuttle behind the crowd, following the flock because you have become so spinless that you are afraid to offend anyone for fear of what it might mean to your career. Spending your life cow-towing to some offensive mother fucker who probably imbeziles your insurance money so that he can take his "niece" to the Bahamas? Caviar doesnt taste that good bitch. It especially tastes bad when you got the after-taste of somebodies jizz in your throat.

Saturday, January 08, 2005

Last night

What happend last night? Nothing special. Went out drinking for my brithday. got smashed to shit Wish I could have brought you guys along... But I thought about you.

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

New Year????????????

Well last year was certainly a blast. If you were a politician, that is. The rest of us had had to deal with the real world. Death, jobless-ness, brokeness, and loveless-ness. Here is hopeing that you get something you want and need for the comming year. And believe me... If I had it to give to you I would.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Beware The Doom Sayers.......

People like this worry me. Why do they think this is funny? Is the idea that they may have gotten someone to panic and roll around on the floor in terror humorous? And just where did he get the info? I wanna know. I tell ya if it did happen I gonna go to Washington and do a Collossal Man on someones ass. I hate dumbasses like this guy. Oh, BTW.... anybody up north mind renting thier couch this Christmas?

Monday, December 20, 2004

You're kidding right?

Wait, wait wait. Are you shitting me? Someone actually let this fly? And it seemed like it was sane why? So let me get this straight.... Some guy puts on a Robocop suit and runs around spouting bible verses, while he fights the forces of Satan? Did I mention he has friends? "The Faithful" eh? well yeah. In that costume he needs a few friends when the cool kids come round to kick his ass. Why are you are trying to make kids believe this way? Why? So they can be just as emotionaly and moraly stunted as thier parents? who came up with this idea? And this guy is supposed to fight Satan's forces and win? Ok, I can buy that last part, because..... Any demon worth his salt will be laughing to hard at that kooky getup. Oh, and tell me something? Why does a good christian need to pack a sword? Isnt there a commandment that says "thou shalt not kill"? So whats the sword for? You know what I wonder? Is Bibleman, Catholic, Seven Day Advantist, Baptist, Mormon, Lutheran, Pentacostle or what? And how does he deal with the "heathens"? Lets say he is a Lutheran.... Whats he do when Father Ryan of the Catholic Church disagrees with him?

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

and it was a good idea why?

Holy Jebus on the cross! somebody needs a design class. Or atleast a course in how not to look hillbilly. what would possess someone to do this?

There are even more of them out there. Go to Ugly Christmas Lights Thanks goes to A Thousand Thoughts for the tip off. I feel a lot better now.

Thursday, December 09, 2004

Uh Huh........

Its been a day. lots of thinking and activity. Not really sure what I should do or even if I can. Left or right? Plomo o plata? Am I entitled to happiness? If so why is it so hard to find? I have neither insight nor answer for this. I have become a singularity of a sort lately. VERY few friends and contacts. And no social circle of my own. They say no man is an island... We shall see.

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

This one says Irish Sping on it

Folks, I am shocked. I am really completely shocked. I was looking around for website awards programs and ran accross World Wide Web Awards. So I fiugured what the hell. Lets see what I can do. and these are the rules on why soemone cant get an award. >1.We do not accept sites that are offensive to others. >2.We do not accept sites that contain profanity, hatred, propaganda, racism, warez, nudity, gambling, hacking activities, use of tobacco products, >drugs, violence, firearms, weapons, degradation, harm, slander, cult activity, pet pages, personal home pages, vampirism, witch craft, gang related >activity, role-playing (fantasy). We prefer not to review these types of sites. WTF?! Not offensive to others? So if you put up a Teletubies site and I dont like it I can have you banned? How do you make a site that EVERYONE will agree with? People there are a lot of wackos out there. there are people who are offended by names, colors, sounds, and location. I got dissed by a woman because a guy that cheated on her had the same name as me. Now with wack jobs like that around how can you not offend somebody? And number two. Wait. Put your seatbelt on. Cause Im about to hit the gears. Get some coffe or a beer cause Im takin' you with me. How can you say no profanity? Some of the best laughs I have had involved profanity. And Im an adult. Some of you are adults. If you choose to use profanity thats between you and your Cerebelum. I could care less. If you took the time to create a site and maintain it then you should get to say whatever you want to say. Hell you paid for the damn space. And dont give me non of that "But children may see" crap. Yes, yes they might. But heres the real deal fellow howler monkeys. Its your kid. If you have not taken the time to discuss things with them and teach them your values thats your problem. Not mine or someone elses. You dont want them on the net and possibley exposed to something? Unplug the damn machine and take the cord. But dont tell me or anyone else we have to monitor ourselves because you forgot how to use a condom or take a pill. Not my problem thats yours. No tabacco products? Does that mean if I have something in my journal and it mentions smoking they are going to deny me? I use a banner system on my domain. What if some tobacco company does the unspeakable and slips in? Now this will probably never happen as it is still illegal for tobacco manufacturers to advertise on websites. No weapons, violence or drugs? I dont do drugs but I had a good story about someone doing them. So Im out? WTF? Even if mine is a positive story about why you should not do your drugs in public? No weapons? I take martial arts. I have pictures of my weapon on my domain. So Im out because I have a healthy spiritual persuit? There are 18 weapons and forms as STANDARD for the Shaolin fighting style. Thats 18 weapons folks. So if I talk about doing a Wu Bu Chan form with a sword Im gone? I dare ya to get close and say that. No slander? Come on. Some people need to be slandered. You need to know when some scumbag is running around doing something unsavory. And if they lose hits or buisiness from it? Well tjhats what makes the will of the people so great. Singulary we are just one lone howler monkey going off in the wild cyber jungle. But get enough of us together and now you got a pack of roving gorillas. Its howPlanet of the Apes started. No pet pages? No personal pages? What the fuck is your domain/journal if its not a personal page? No vampirism? Why not? With the popularity of Blade and Anne Rice this has become one of the largest sub-cultures in America and Europe. Just because you dont want to look at them doesnt mean that they are going to go away. And dont think just because you deny thier webpages your kids wont see them. They are here. They are in your schools taking classes. they are on reality tv shows. Personally I think most of them are kinda funny. I mean really. Most of the guys I can see why they did it. They're geeks and and they needed to find somewhere they fit in. Take away the black eyeliner, the styling gel, and the dark clothes and you got one geeky guy with a suitcase full of mental and social issues. Now the girls. The girls are usually just hot, and they often wear something tight and sexy. Yeah, yeah. Im biased. I like women. No witchcraft? What so we are banning religions again? afraid thay are going to steal someones pure Christian soul? They wont. Thats someone elses job. Besides, alot of Christains are more underhanded than Old Scratch himself. Seriously. I have heard of some "God fearing" people doing crap that even the devil is saying, "I think you went over the top there". Look up religious crime if you think not. I mean really, you gonna ban the pagans but no one else? Well damn. Aint that a bitch. I would take a pagan over a Catholic anyday. Atleast I know the pagan isnt going to plug my kid in the ass. They might bathe the brat in goats blood, but thier virginity is safe. And last but not least, No roleplaying? This begs the question. WHY? Rolepayers are harmless. Most of them are smelly loners that have no place to be except with other smelly loners. Give them some peace in thier life. And nevermind the fact that atleast 60% of the US has played or is playing Dungeones and Dragons. Its a past-time. Nothing more. Give it a rest will ya?

Friday, November 26, 2004


Yeah, yeah. Im busy. Very. But you look hungry. So eat this Boom! so remember kiddies. only buy accessories at an authorized dealer.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

@!##$%^&(*)(_)_ Spamers!

Well somebody finally got one. Someone caught a spammer and he is going to prison! And thats ok. Thats really cool. But I want something more. I mean something painfull. But I want something special. I know... Lets get the last 1 million emails he sent and print them. Then we make him eat them. ALL of them. I mean really nine years fighting off big horny men who want to poke him in the ass is cool. And I dont only blame him. I blame every howler monkey out ther that ordered something from this guy. If he wasnt making 400,000 a year he wouldnt be doing it. Its time to stop the madness people. And I say we start with him. String him up and wack his testicles like they were pinyatas, make him hand write apologies to everyone he ever emailed. something.

Sunday, November 14, 2004

Predator Talk

I finally got it! I talked to 'The Predator', from Alien VS Predator. Although I wish I could have got more, I was able to get this interview with him. 1.How did you prepare for the role of the famed predator? The first thing that I did when I found out that I had been cast in the role was to remind myself of the earlier films. Obviously Kevin Peter Hall was the only other man in history to ever play the role and it would have been foolish of me to ignore his performance. Developing a performance style that I could carry through the entire film was not as hard as I thought. I went through the original films frame by frame trying to extrapolate little nuances of Kevin Peter Hall’s performance that I could utilize and develop into characteristics and personality traits for my own performance of the predator characters. When you consider that the predator does not speak and has no face (for much of the film at least) then you get an idea of how important body language is to the character. The predator is not a robot, he has emotions and a personality and every little hand gesture or head movement can be used to convey those emotions. By far the toughest and lengthy part of my preparation was making sure that I was fit enough to carry the performance through a very arduous six month shooting schedule. After visiting the ADI studios in California for the preliminary fitting I knew that this role was going to need another level of fitness both physical and mental. I put myself through a punishing fitness regime prior to the start of filming to get used to carrying an extra 40 or 50 kilos around everyday. Even during filming, at least up until the Christmas hiatus I was training regularly to maintain my fitness as well as spending all day on set. 2.Have you ever watched any of the predator movies? Yes, I have always been a fan of the predator. The idea of an alien race visiting planet Earth and being fought off by heroic figures is as old as the hills, but the concept of this intergalactic tribal hunter with a perceived code of honour and very well developed combat ideal was quite ground breaking and it really captured the imagination when it was released. Not to mention the awesome Stan Winston design; it had to scare Arnold Schwarzenegger for goodness sake!! Even predator 2 was not as bad as people make it out to be. The predator was still awesome. 3.How long did the make up effects take themselves? On the first day of principle photography the costuming took about four hours, but by the end of the first week the team had it down to about ninety minutes. There were several stages of the costume. The first stage was a point where I could sit off set in relative comfort waiting for the call to action. The next stage was everything except the head and the last stage was of course the head. The face plate was the very last piece to go on. It had to come off after almost every take because the visor steamed up rendering me blind most of the time, but as soon as it went on I was fully in character – I was the predator! It was a little different when I was performing scenes with the face plate off, because I had to have my contact lenses put in and my eyes blacked out. The mechanized head was cinched very tightly around my own to ensure that no natural skin colour could be seen around my eyes. At first I found the mechanized head very difficult to perform in, but like everything else about this role that was uncomfortable or painful, I came to terms with it very quickly. It was a mental battle more than anything, at the front of my mind every day was the single motivating thought that I was playing one of the most iconic science fiction characters ever imagined, there was no way that I was going to let a little pain or discomfort effect my performance. 4.Do you have a favourite scene and if so what is it? There were so many scenes that were so much fun to shoot it is very hard to pick one that stands out from the rest. The beginning of the fight chamber scene when I got to beat up almost the entire leading cast, strangle Raoul Bova and stab Colin Salmon was certainly one of my favourites. The Lance Henriksen death scene was also a favourite, (that was my first scene ever and they set me on fire as well). The scene when an alien creeps out of the masonry and breaths down my neck before I slice off its face was also a lot of fun and was one of the few scenes when Tom Woodruff and I actually appear together. Generally, for someone like me who had never done anything like this before the film was a hoot from beginning to end. 5.Did you keep anything from the role as a memento? I was not allowed to keep any memorabilia or souvenirs from the film. I have a preview poster and several photographs to go along with my fond memories. 6.Was the suit difficult to move in? What about ventilation? The costume was very hot and heavy, but making it look as though it was not a man in a hot and heavy rubber suit was exactly what was required of me for the performance. I am still not sure if I have achieved that or done it justice. The suit was not ventilated at all other than when I removed the head. Provision was made for the call of nature, but again it was a mental battle; I couldn’t go so I didn’t want to. The suit was not that difficult to move in. It had to be flexible enough to allow me to give a full performance. If it was restrictive in any way then it would have had to be redesigned. 7.Did you have any motivation for the role itself or did you just go in and stand where instructed? There was a certain amount of doing whatever I was told, as long as I was in the right place and lit properly the performance was basically up to me. If Paul Anderson didn’t like anything that I did he would say so and I would do it differently. I found inspiration in the unlikeliest of places and I was greatly motivated by the epic saga of Beowulf. It may sound an odd source in which to find motivation, but I viewed the lead character predator as a noble warrior skilled in the art of combat and possessing of a strict code of honour. Beowulf is the epic tale of victory against the insurmountable foe and it appeared to provide a perfect parallel. I was also motivated by the fact that this was not an original role and there had already been two magnificent performances of the character by Kevin Peter Hall. I was very aware that I not only had to deliver a performance worthy of the movie, but I also had to deliver a performance worthy of Kevin Peter Hall. He was a talented and well respected character actor and the predator was probably his crowning glory. Performing the same role in my first performance; I felt a great deal of pressure to live up to the bench mark that he created. There you have it folks. Ian Whyte; The Predator. Great guy and we all thank him for his work and allowing me this interview Ian is a client of Coolwaters Productions

Thursday, November 11, 2004

Damn dream

I keep having this stupid dream. and its pissing me off. It always starts the same. I am going to meet a friend somewhere. Each time I have the dream who I am meeting changes. Anyway. I either get on a bus or stop at a sidewalk cafe and sit down. A beautiful woman sits close by and pulls out a cell phone. I am reading my book and do not wish to be bothered with anyone. The woman is arguing with someone on her phone. I try to ignore it and coninue reading. After a few moments she puts her phone away and just sits there. I can feel her eyes boring into my cheek. I try to avoid looking at her but eventually I look up. She smiles. I do not. I am determined not to get sucked into it again. I start back to reading my book. My internal sensor tells me that things are not kosher here. I look up again. She has moved a seat closer to me. 'NO' I scream mentally and go back to my book. I am not actually reading it now, so much as I am trying to focus my attention away from her. Suddenly I notice the light has changed. I look up from the pages and she is sitting very near me. She is truly beautiful. My heart pounds in my chest, and inside I can hear the voice screaming. 'No, no no. Dont do this again. You know what happens' This time when I look at her she speaks. I try to make small talk and say little. She tells me her name and all about her life. As much as I try to keep her distant her life and words move me. She asks about me and I find myself spilling the seeds of my life to her. We talk and we laugh, all the time I am hating myself for not pushing her away. I want to touch her. I can smell the clover in her hair. Her skin smells of fresh soap and bath oils, and I truly want to take hold of her and give her everything I have. But still I hear that screaminng voice in my head, 'dont do it. You know she will just leave like the others' Sometimes we kiss in between talks and hold hands. Nothing more. After what seems like minutes, but is actually days, she begins to look sad. I ask what is wrong. she looks down as if embarrased to speak. Calmly I cox her to speak. "Why dont you love me?" I always start to respond. I never really know what I am going to say. I know I am not going to tell her how I feel, that much is for sure. Its a bad idea to day say I feel. I dont know why, but it is. We hold hands as I try to think of something. I stare at the top of her head and listen to my heart pound in my temples. Just as I am about to speak... I wake up. Always. Sucks dont it.

Friday, November 05, 2004


Tonight I talked to the stupidest person alive. No really. Just wait. You will see. I was on the phone talking to my sister; Yolanda tonight. We were doing our usual. Chewing the fat about nonsense and generally, being silly. I got a familiar beep on the phone and figured, its another salesman. I answered it prepared to jump this one like the last one. I answer the phone with a simple and cold "Hello". No one answered. Again I said "Hello?" this time with inquisition in my voice. The response floored me. "Whatup Nigga. Wheres yo wife at"? I started laughing. Obviously someone mis-dialed thier phone. smiling I responded,"thats a good question. Why dont you tell me who you are and I might tell you" "You know who this is nigga. Dont be tryin to act and shit" "Nooo, I think you got a wrong number" "Aint no wrong number, motherfucka. You know that. Na, where yo wife at"? Normally I am calm. I am peaceful. But certain things I dont like. First one above all, I hate being called nigga. In Alabama someone threw rocks at my sister and me while they shouted nigga go home. I have met people from Mexico who come here looking for a better life illegally, and they called me nigga. Or as they put it, "Pinche Miyate". Second, I live alone, so wives are a touchy subject for me. So needless to say, this guy had hit the buttons. And stood on them. "Listen you fuck. What the hell do you want? Who in the hell are you calling anyway? Do you even know?" "Fuck you nigga. I know who I am. And I know yo ass. Ahm, you hoes man" "What the fuck?! Who the fuck are you trying to call fuckhead? Cause you got the wrong number!" "Fuck you nigga. Ahm fuckin' yo wife. And you know it aint no wrong number motherfucka". "Really? Fuck you dumbass" "Fuck you nigga. You know I got yo woman" At that point I hung up. Now several things occur to me. 1. Why call someone and say that? even if you are doing some guys wife.... SHUT THE FUCK UP! If you and she are doing it on the side then someone wanted to keep it secret. 2. What if I was the right guy and I was violent? She comes home, smelling like him and BANG... dead bitch. Now you got some really pissed guy looking for you. Or worse yet. What if he is like me? "You doing her are you? Fine. then you keep her. Im done" Now you got a house guest because you didnt keep your trap closed. And heaven help you if you say something like. "I cant have you living with me", and put her out. Now I problably will come kill your ass. You wanted her bad enough before. Now you keep her or else. 3. Why do you need the drama? What the fuck? You dont have enough heart achge with the economy, and crime? You have to make something, so you have something to worry about now? Again I ask, "WTF" It only goes to show, some people never evolve beyond the fecal matter throwing monkey stage

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

The Edge

I tell ya. God must have a sense of humor. Come one really. Again some ninny jumps into a lions den and decides to pick a fight. It wasnt bad enought that back in January of 2004 some poor schlub decided to do it but again tonight someone does it. And for the exact same reason. He heard a voice telling him to go convert the lions. What a maroon. You cant convert lions. Everybody knows that they are too proud. Lions would never ever admit you had a better idea than them. All of this leads me to two conclusions. Either 1. The lions are ventriliquist and ther are tricking gullable people, OR 2. God needs entertainment too

A serious moment

It seems that most are least a few out there have these big dramatic and powerful things to say. I do not. I am not politically motivated or moved. Infact, I hate politicians and lawyers. Why? Nothing of consequence to you.I have looked and noticed many jumping into the political arena to spout off some retoric or jargon. Many shout and squeal about lies and scandals. Some feel justified in thier position and want to make you apart of thier group. Others jeer and taught if you do not share thier views. All shout and wail about who will make your life better. The two main camps battled and name called until the bitter end. Its over now friends. But I digress from what I intended to say. After reading so many journals I see men who write of thier sexual conquests and thier angst for the one they truly love. I see women writing of thier loves and lovers and the feelings they hide from the world. Alas, I do not have such things to put into writing. I do not write long winded passages or poetry for all to see. I only write what I feel at the time and it is usually pretty simple. I have no sexual conquests to boast of. It has always been hard for me to venture into that social arena. I meet people everyday, and I talk, and laugh with many. But I do not evoke "THAT" feeling in others. I have come to learn this and accept things as they are. I cannot forget the dream or what it showed me. There are no hard feelings, no anger, and little remorse. It is what is. As time has passed in my alone period I have come to terms with it. I would like to have thought that Amelia or Katheryn were something special, but I know better than that. They were fun, and really sweet. Especially Amelia. Her hair was like blue black raven feathers. Her smile was warm and tender. She smelled of honey and cedar. And she was soft and warm to hold. But she left. As is the way of things for me. Actually, there was remorse there. I thought then that maybe.....but I was shown once again, that it was a false hope. So now I study kung fu and work on things of my own. This site needs attention, and I have several books that I should be reading. If you read this or something else I write I hope you comment. If not. Well, Blessings of Ra upon you anyway.

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

I voted today

Wasnt anything big or even memorable. Just turn the crank and hit yes when what you wanted is highlighted. I was disappointed though about one thing. The area where I live. they only carry certain ballots. You either have to vote All Republican, all Democrat or take the long way and select indiviuals. there was nothing for the liberal party on the balllot and nothing for the green party. What was also strange was that I saw posters and banners for people that were not on the ballot. Ofcourse Ann Witt had her supporters there. Scott Hochberg didnt have a single soul on site. Not one person to pass out the last minute flyers, and he only had one sign on the lawn. It was at the end of the street way behind a bunch of Al Green and Ann Witt banners. So, once again Scott Hochberg, or atleast his commitee proves, HE IS NOT someone to vote for . What was really strange about today was the number of people who could not speak english voting. It was kinda weird. Watching people have to get translators just to find out thier name. And no, translators were NOT readily available. They had to be located. But all-in-all I must say it was good to see people standing for thier beliefs, even if they didnt understand what they were told. :)

Friday, October 29, 2004

I have something to say

I have been thinking. Alot. I realized something. all these "kids" running around being so political. They are scared. I see all these people around me trying to convince each other who the best choice for president is and why they are right. I get phone calls from volunteers to campaign for State Senators. And most of the callers sound like they just got out of high school. I have listened to arguements and rants and speechs. They are all in fear of what is going to happen to the world they live in. And I can understand that. After-all we live in an age where your life is recorded constantly. Planes are dropping from the sky, buisinesses are failing left and right. The homeless and job less rate is very high. The cost of fuel is so high it is getting harder and harder to buy the gas to drive. People bombard the airwaves with messages of hostile foriegn countries wanting you dead. Your email and mailbox is filled with things you dont want. Crime is on th rise. Someone wants your social secuirty number, so they can steal your identity. real crime dramas and judge shows are taking top ratings in their time slots. and US soldiers are dying in another country. All of this is scary, scary stuff. Too bad it wont change this year or next. Whoever gets elected still has to go thru the rest of the Senate and Congress to make any changes. And they may or maynot be willing to do that. Also, you ever try to stop a run-away chopping cart as it whizzes by? It's hard. Sometimes you cant. Usually what happens is it either pulls you off balance when you grab it, or it slips out of your hand. Unless it hits you deadon when it is rolling, you usually have a time of slowing it down. Our country is the shopping cart. Someone started things rolling along time ago. Now its almost impossible to stop. And to stop it now would mean something is going to get tossed out. But you never know what. Whoever wins is not going to pull the soldiers out of Iraq, because its almost iimpossible to do in a timely manner. It could take upto a year just to get the orders and logistics worked out. Second, and I know this from personal experience. The government does all sorts of stuff and doesnt say so. there are thousands of things going on that you and I will never know about. Why do you think the president ages so badly after he is elected? Some secrets can keep you awake at night and some can make you wish you never opened your eyes. I know, I know.... conspiracy theory. Not at-all. There are some things we as citizens and humans dont need to know. they are too hard to understand. We could never see the big picture. And lastly, no matter what the outcome an economy needs money flowing into it to get something out of it. The United states is sorely lacking in the input column. sure you have income brackets of 60,000 and higher showing growth and general increase. But the cost of living for persons below 30,000 is going up, and thier pay isnt. And I truly doubt you will find this to be a REAL concern of ANY politician.

Sunday, October 24, 2004

I was truly amazed

I woke up late this morning so I was slow about leaving. Considering that I had not slept well and my head was still rather stuffed, I did not relish the idea of heading out. But it turned out to be a truly great thing that I did. I know everyone has heard the birds chirping in thier symphony of noise in the early morning hours. To human ears this has bot to be some ofd the most unneccisary ruckus that has ever assailed our ears. I hean all that chriping and squeeking and catter-whalling. Atleast thats what I used to think until this morning. this morning as I walked to the busstop under the trees I, like most people wondered what the hell was up with all the birds. And like a blessing, I was shown. All at once the sound stopped.I mean stark dead silent at the drop of hat. Just as I turned towards the trees I saw something beautiful. Every bird lifted off into the air. Crows, Magpies, Chickadees and some I do not recognize, all took flight in what would at first glance appeared to be a migration. After several moments of stunned spectatorship, I realized what I was seeing. It was a mass feeding. It seems that all that pre-dawn screaming and squaking had stirred up the local insect population. As the sonically stimulated bugs and pests flew forth to escape the noise, every bird around was in the air snatching himself a morning meal. It was breath taking. Flocks of birds dipping and weaving in unison as they cut a swath the flying insects that flew too slow to escape. Mind you I did feel a bit pained when I saw a brillant red dragonfly get swallowed by a large crow. I like dragonflys.So sue me. But it was for a good cause. And it is the wheel of nature after-all. And its good to know there will probably be a few less biting insects around when I go out during the evenings. But the whole thing that got me was the unison and presision which the birds used to feed. It was all instint. Everyone flew close to someone so as to make a living net when their numbers met the living mass of creepy crawlies. and few veered off or bailed out. And NO ONE hit anything. Not a tree, or a powerline, or a stop sign or a car. It was incredible. People cant do that. Not without some huge meeting and queue cards telling them where and when, and STILL some hairless monkey would still foul it up by doing just what HE wanted. The birds didnt do that. That is what made the whole thing incredible. They didnt have some big owl outthere with a whistle and a megaphone yelling at them. "Charlie! Tighten up those tail feathers or you wont get enough balance to turn! Frank! Get back to your formation! You can mate with her later! Madaline, turn to your left, we are going south this morning!" ALL the birds in the area did thier part without being told. Unrehearsed. And yes, I know "urvival of the species". Tell ya what. Pick ten people you know. Tell all of them that they have to meet you someplace at exactly 8pm. And make it sound really important and ominous. Betcha atleast 3 dont make it at-all. And of the 7 that do show atleast 2 will be more than 10 minutes late. Dont believe me? TRY IT. And that why this morning was so beautiful. Because I saw nature and instinct move an entire species to act as a single mind and body. No fighting, no trying to out-do the other guy for a bigger bug. Just functionality. Pretty damn neat huh?