Embarassed

I am embarrased to say.. I over-reacted. My friends are still around. They just went incognito. The DemonMaster has had troubles and could not be incontact with anyone. Gi, checked himself into a hospital with a viral infection. this is his third week there. Sorceress... Well, she is flighty so thats to be expected. And I will not submit, so has little to say. And Flavor just got back into the swing of things. The rest of you know why we have not spoken. Plus, the important thing that Demon mentioned. What I am going thru is for me alone. They cannot interfere. As much as they might want to hold on and walk the path with me, they cannot. I have to do this myself. BUT...They will be there. Much the way elven faeries hide in bushes and watch playing children. I started to wonder during my meditations, where all my unrest was comming from. I assumed it was me. Some of it is. Sitting here at my desk I realised something. Its calm today. Unbelievably quiet. Not because there is nothing to do, but because "The Others" are not here . They bring chaos and disorder with them. They are confused, reactionary, and stressed. And I let them bequeeth the same to me. Their fear and panic overwhelmed me. I let it. I was nervous about taking a new job. And with that in the works, I walked into a stressball, with my defenses down. And got my emotional head stoved in. So I learned something. Know when to raise shields, and brace for impact. The people I count on and love are still here. They all know that I would give blood and bone for them. And I know who my friends are.